** mencari cintak **

while doodling in yahoomessanger:

=)) gelak genggoling..
memule dia kuarkan pen merah tuh dia buat yg bibir atas tuh siriyes takde rupe bibir lalu sgt perah otak kuberpikir apekah inih.. atlis yg guek lukis yg atas tuh ade rupe bibir ye tak?
[inilah dia apebile kanak2 rebenaberi x dibedung tangannye melukih.]
mood of the moment:saket bakang badan.. sengal2 sanesini membuat projek inih yg nak due dah huhukk
song of the moment: all american reject - swing swing
i wanna be:an artist :"> maluuu

** im getting tired of pretending im tough **

aneh aneh.. byk pekare aneh belaku lately :(..
1. tibe2 dpt sms ade org tetibe reloadkan prepaid max1s guek. tapi RM10 aje la.. salah reloadkah?
2. org ini telepon guek : 012-6158659 sapekah? dia ckp pelat cina.. dia tanye dpt tak rm10 reload tuh? dia tak tanye nak suh hayar balik.. dia mcm suke2 bejaye reload.. ade apekah dia inih? kalau awek dia melayu, takkan dia takcam suara aku nih lain dr suare awek dia? [read: no tepon dia beza kedudukan dgn no tepon guek].
3.kazen guek meninggal dunia.. umor baru 5 tahun :( sedih takdpt tgk.
4.guek mimpi minyak meninggaldunia malam mendpt berite kazen guek meninggal? [mmg mimpi saiton kot sbb guek terlajak subuh harituh]
5.a phone call from: 0133693522 and there's this makcik asek marah2 guek nak ckp ngan tpott? i said i'm che pah.. she said nih sape nih, tpott mane.. aku pukol jugak makcik nih kang. [tak pepasal abes kredit guek sebab max1s roaming x-(]
6.yanz menipu guek :((.. dia jahat kan?

i would like to dedicate this song to those who like this song.
josie and the pussycat - you dont see me
This is the place where I sit
This is the part where I love you too much
This is as hard as it gets
Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough
I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and achin'
And tumblin' and breakin'

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I dream a world where you understand
That I dream a million sleepless nights
Well I dream a fire when you're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights
I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends?

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met
And is this the last chance that I'll ever get
I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you

mood of the moment:sedih peningkepale rendahdiri serabot kusot benci
song of the moment: you don't see me
i wanna be: angelina jolie dan amek anak angkat.

** aku sayang padamu ** [france trip]

hikhik :">
I'M BACKKKK!!! from my paris trip
uh-oh i luv paris i luv disneyland :*

the events:
day 1 - 17th july 2005
we arrived at paris 11.45am and checked in at grand hotel de paris.. homban segala bagasi ugly and started the journey after zuhur+asar prayer secare jamak..
places of interest yg sempat pegi ialah:
1.notre dame - cathederal yg besar among biggest in europe.. [taktau.. just remember the hunchback of notre dame?] and amek2 gama..


2.pompidou - national art gallery yg sgt besa lagi kretip


3.louvre museum paris - 8.50euros.. and amek gama secara ghairah dgn potret monalisa.. wat else.. venus d milo, firaun2 tuh, hammurabi code? [x-(].. and atap museum yg berbentok piramid kaca2 ituh..


4.arche de la triumphe de etoille.. tahlaa.. amek2 gama lagi.. and we strolled along a park there where people do sunbathing ituh.. and ade satu part sgt lawak kitorg amek gaba secara bersunggoh2 dgn sejenis statue bogel dan tourist dr negara mane tah terpakse nak amek gak gamba kitorang lalu nak masokkan dalam majalah dia.. part paling best bile naiza secara bongeknye ckp wahhh nih nanti sure jadik gamba poskad lalu harus beli secara beratus keping dan kasi kat seme kawan2.. tolongla talarat gelak tapi erp tataula nak citer camane.. mmg mcm cramp gak mulot asek gelak.. patu kantoi amek gamba org beromen di taman wahahaa.. sungoh obviyes la.


5.place de la concorde yg utk amek gamba aje.. dan ade adegan belari2 anak melintas jalan sebanyak banyak kali..

6.arche de la triumphe de caroussel.. dimana ade adegan terlampau yg telah dirakamkan gambarnye oleh naizaperv 8-x


7.eiffel tower the main mission yg dihabiskan selame ah-henmm.. from 8pm-paris [7pm-uk] sehinggelah midnight 12. haros dr cerah secerah2nye [read: magrib is around 9.30pm] sehinggelah eiffel tower berkelip2 ngan lampu wanewani.. so we watched the sunset from above. atas eiffel tower okkeh! yayy:* [10.70euros]..besbes..




day2 - 18th july 2005
THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE visit ever..
i love disneyland and i missed it so much.. kalolaaa ble nak pegi lagi nak lagi dan lagi.. sukeee
sanggop kitorg abaikan bekfes hotel ituh semata2 nak jadik org first masok disneyland..
walopon agak kecewa sbb patot harga all-park is 32 euros, malangnye we have to pay 50 euros sbb hari ini hari ahad, and disneyland pon tutop 11pm harinih bebanding 5pm kalo tak.
but, yayy.. takkesah janji dpt menlenjan inih disneyland and yeah we didnt waste any minute. full aje ektibiti..
we watched almost all shows provided tak kisah la dalam walt disney studios park mahupon dalam disneyland park..
takpayahlaa dalam fantasyland tuh kitorang tak tinggal satu ponn permainankan.. even merry-go-round kuda pusing2 ituh pon kitorang lenjan walopon berskirt..
[kempunan naik carrousel kat genting sebab tah kenapa kat malaysia mcm malu nak naik caroussel2 nih ahaha]
yup the rollercoaster-part quite frustrating tapik takpe kitorang bergasak jugak main rollercoaster yg agak kanak2.. suke jugak.. and i think abis thrilled pon was the 'rock & rollercoaster'.. macam agak tertinggal gak la jantong dan ade gambar yg dicandid tuh yg macam alala times-square-rollercoaster tuh.. dan gamba naiza paling horror ahaha..
hnm niway.. memamng worth it sgt laaa disnilen inin utk dipergikan..
we watched the parade yg memang pukol 7pm.. [and yet i missed it so much when i played back the recorded version from the camcorder hukhuk:(]..
wat else.. haa got another parade at 10.30pm.. this one parade yg berlampu2 liplap.. parade yg berbeda from parade siang tuh.. and finally.. the best part: wishes: ade fireworks kat sleeping beauty castle ituhh pada pukol 11pm yayyyyyy sgt cantikkkkkkkk dan sukeeeee...

intoducing: from left to right:
husna, naiza, guek, imah, leli



ok.. so.. kitorg kuar disneyland secara officialnyeh around 12midnite.. dan jengjengjeng..
uik.. apsal takde orang dah? uik.. tren stesen dah tutop? uik takpe escalator dia stil begerak [tgk from cermin dinding].. and we went to the other main entrance dgn harapan pintu disitu bukak dan huwaaaaaaaa:(((((( tutopppppp.. dan takde bas utk balik town paris.. :((((((((.. taxi pon org berebot dan sangat unaffordable nyeh satu cab 150 euros, kitorg 6 orang = 2 cabs = 300 euros??:-o tamooooooooooo.. terpaksele tunggu the next morning nyer tren yg atlis start at 6am.. huwaaa strandeddddddddddd!!
dan bermulalah sesi karaoke secara hebat dekat bas-stop kat luar tren stesen tuh..
bergilir2 jadik penyanyi..
telelap2 kekadang.. bile nak telelap tuh org lain tgh nyanyi, bile bangon org lain plak tgh nyanyi.. imah pon nyanyi wowoooo:-o.. ahaha imah aku gelak dalam tido..
and a few times adela beberapa rakyat jelata dtg approach sebab risaukan kami [yg islam aje sbb mereka nanpak kami pakai tudung kot..]
yu tekkeh girls.. if yu feel unsafe, go to nearest disney-village, got security there blalala..
sgt concern mamat2 france nih.. bagos betol..
maka, sejuros 6am kitorang membalik ke hotel dan terus mengmakan bekfes hotel ituh secara lahap dan krohkrohkroh tido di bilik masing2 secara hebbat sehinggele terpakse check out pada pukol 12..
emuhuhuuu sedihhhhhhhhh.......
tak sempat utk plan2 hari inih semuanye terbatal secara sendiri karna teda masa sudah, hanye sempat mengkejar ke KFC yg halal yg dirindui setelah setahun wooo tak makan kfc..
haros mcm makan untuk sepoloh hari dan tapau berkoyan2 kfc..
hairan budak2 france tgk masing2 macam tak penah jumpe makanan ahaha..
tak sempat pegi hatrock cafe
tak sempat pegi moulin rouge
tak sempat pegi sacre coeur
tak sempat pegi anverse
nuff said. sedih ok.
yg lawaknye mase nak gih st denis the kfc ituh kitorg naik tube yg benti di stesen lain dan tube ituh berpatah semula ke central paris dan kitorg pon ek-eh inih stesen tadi..
8-x boleh takkkkkkk????
sbb bile tanye mamat france yg dudok main henfon ituh dia cakap taklaa, nih betolla nih pegi st denis, manada berpatah balik.. hampeh punye mamat henfon..
from st denis tube station [tpt terletaknye kfc ituh] nak balik central paris ituh, tetibe aisyah hilang semasa tube sampai lalu kami menggelabah dan rase nak nangis, rupe2nye aisyah telah tersangkot di pagar tube yak Allah boleh tak takde org perasan????
huwaaaa:(((( sori aisyah..
dan terus dptkan aisyah dan berlari masok tube secara angkat kain tinggi2..
dan akhirnye sampai di kaunter check in eurostar ke london secara tepat2 on time alhamdulillah..
tak dpt bayang kalo kitorg miss jugak tren nih.. tatau plak nak tido mane.. alhamdulillah..
dan penutop tirai kecelakaan hari isnin ini ialah part yg mane imah dipaksa bukak tudung oleh imegrisen paris ituh..
kitorg dah macam hah??kene bukak tudung??
imah at first hanya bukak tudung, dan tinggalkan serkop, tapi orang imegrisen gila tuh paksa bukak jugak serkop ituh dan sgt murkanya kami, tapi, imah aje kene bukak, kitorg lain tayah..
apesal ek?? read imah's unsatisfaction on: http://silio.blogspot.com

alhamdulillah dah selamat sampai bilik.
dan proses mengposmortemkan segala jenis gamba2 terlampau nih tatawu bile nak abis..
kitorang haroslah ade digicam sorang satu, so, ade 6 orang 6 digicam dan loya tekak mengedit gamba adulaaaa.. video2 camcorder pon belom sempat di capture.. hukhuk

[ps:kepada awak yg memesan t-sert hatrock paris :( sori awak.. seriyes tak sempat yg sangat tak sempat..]
takpe lain kali ble pegi lagi 8-x..


mood of the moment:im in luv
song of the moment: atiek - aku sayang padamu :">
i wanna be:rich so i can go paris every month :-o

** buuuuuuulan madu di awan biru **

hehhh.. bismillahirrahmanirrahim [berdoa]
going to PARIS first thing tomorrow's 5am.
dont get me wrong.. not that im not excited, tapi, my mom dok risau2 tuh.. [takot kene bombombom, takot diserang anti-islam].. making me nervous nih, takot jugak ek..
anyway.. fuhfuhh disneyland.. here i comeeeeeeeeeeee muhuhuuu tak sabar... eiffel :-x wuwuwuuu..
okok lek aaa has1fah :D
[-o<

[huwaaaaaa x dpt tenok felix nani lagu fantasia bulan madu konsert this week :((((((((((]

mood of the moment:per-centak-an terlampau
song of the moment: felix&idayu - bolan madu :D
i wanna be: amm..amm..rawkstar :">

** been used ** [sleep study]

dari kecik aku mmg takot tenok darah.
selalu mak mmg tak kasi tenok kalo dpt peluang tenok.
dia tawu aku takot. ade skali kite pegi melaka, ade accident baru terjadik tepi jalan, mak cepat2 suh jgn pandang! tapi aku terpandang. aku nampak sebuah helmet yg still ade kepale dalam dia, dah pecah-retak tapi tak terbarai abis lagi helmet tuh, dan terkuar darah kat retak-belah helmet tuh. terus terbayang kepala dalam tuh mesti dah terbarai. darah still mengalir bila tengok lantai jalan. menjerit aku [aku suke menjerit, tak kire suke tak kire duke]. terus rase nak pitam. kan mak dah ckp jgn tenok!
bila doctor kene amek darah pon aku takot.
tuh sebab aku tak derma darah. doctor dtg baru nak cocok pon aku takot. takot needles. takot darah. masa doctor datang nak cucuk, aku mesti tutop mate. takpon pandang tpt lain.
mula2 doctor datang dia cek2 urat mane paling besar nak cocok nak amek darah.
dia ikat hujung lengan ketat2.
dia ketok2 urat2 supaya timbol.
dia cocok jarom 3inci tuh yg ade tube plastik keliling dia.
aku pandang arah lain dah. aku gigit jari tangan kanan tahan sakit. dia amek urat yg kat pergelangan tangan, sakit sebab situ tak byk lemak mcm kat bawah pelipat siku. selalunye doctor amek darah kat bawah pelipat siku tuh, tak sakit sgt.
dia sedut pakai picagari tuh, darah memancut kot. dia ckp perfect. aku senyum sambil still gigit jari. sakitla bodoe!.
dia kuarkan jarom, sakit!! tertinggal tube plastik yg membaloti jarom tu kat dalam urat darah tuh. so, dia tapayah nak cocok everytime nak amek darah. dan datanglah nurse setiap sejam utk amek darah.
satu tahap, darah tamo kuar, aku pump2 tangan pon dia tamo kuar, lalu nurse kasi flush dulu. [flush: masokkan air kedalam salur darah tersebot menggunakan picagari]
dan try sedut balik, ye, darah kuar semula.
skali lagi darah tanak kua secare kronik, datang balik doktor tuh, dia ikat hujung lengan nak kasi darah memancot keluar. lalu dia sedut darah, dan abis sedut 2 tube darah around 10-20ml kot, dia akan flush air smula. tapi kali nih dia terlupa bukak ikatan kat hujung lengan tuh. zass dia picit picagari masokkan air secara tak pelan-pelan, dan zasss jugak aku terjerit. SAKIT!! sakit amat. masokkan air tanpe bukak ikatan! terase mcm nak pecah urat darah. aku nangis secara otometik. aku tengok doktor gelabah cepat2 bukak ikatan tuh. dia pandang aku nangis dia jadi takot lalu dia diam. lagila aku nak nangis. ngilu. datang nurse senyum2, nurse nampak aku nangis dia terus: you r crying? what happen? zasss ku terus nangis teresak2 dan dia pujuk2. terus ingat kat mak pulak. bodo la aku. tapi lepas tuh doktor tuh diam sampai sudah sbb takot kot.
2nd time aku nangis bila skali lagi urat darah buat hal tanak kuarkan darah. aku jadik fobia sgt. trauma. everytime nurse flush air masok dalam darah aku mesti cepat2 tolong bukakkan ikatan, dan gigit jari kanan, rasa ngilu sgt sbb dapat rasa air sejuk masok dlm urat tuh. mmg sgt rasa.
3rd time aku nangis bila satu tahap daarah tanak kuar, dah flush byk kali pon dia tanak2 kuar gak, lalu nurse cakap dia nak cocok urat lain plak. aku nangis takot. kenape nak cocok tpt lain plak!!!! :((
dan aku anggok2 sambil nangis. mmg terase sgt ngengade sgt. tapi nak buat cemane aku mmg nak nangis.









ade sedikit bengkak-lebam sikit sgt la kat tpt yg doktor tuh terpancotkan air tanpe buke ikatan tuh. ade ape situ ek? tanak tawu.

pengajaran: lainkali jangan gatal nak sesuke hati tak kesah diambil darah a.k.a menderma darah anda kalo anda bukanlah didlm golongan yg tak takot dgn darah.

[lagi satu mende tak logik yg aku takot: cacing! geli sgt mmg boleh lemah jantong kalo ternampak. sebarang jenis ulat. ular! katak. eh-eh byk sgt mende aku takot. tanakla list kan]

[one more thing: IPOD.. here i come.. cant wait to have it.. go videl!~]

mood of the moment:ouh lupe plak aku tengah upset dan down. kenyataan org gila.
song of the moment: lifehouse - siksaikelkerosel
i wanna be: ah.. tetibe terase tanak balik malaysia.

** tuhanku **

went to school like nothing happened.
i know nothing.
heard the voices whispering to each other.
dont go to london today?? whats happening man?
am not advise to go to london.. why?
read the warning: You were not advice to go to London due to the series of bomb-attack on the London Underground this morning.
automatically called imah, no answer.
called suri, no answer.
oiy angkatlah telepon woii.. i wanna know what happened.
nevermind, i go shopping.
yance called.
awak mana? london kene bomb blalalala balik cepat.mak called.
balik sekarang! dudok dlm rumah! jangan keluar selama sebulan! [exaggerated]
menteri pon pesan jangan keluar rumah blablalaa.. [mak mmg suke dgr ckp menteri]tuduttutduttut..
tuduttutduttut..
messanges, many, sorry frens, i cant reply: insufficient credits.
all worried. while im doing the shopping.
insaf dan bergegas pulang.
messages bederet2 on my YM.
we were in good condition. dont worry. pray for our safety.
making phone-calls.. to those who really worried.
called kedutaan malaysia at london:
hi, im haliza, i would like to know if somebody with the name of ahmad tarmizi mat husin happened to be involve in the tragedy?
you who?
im his sister.bla bla bla.
ok i'll inform you if we get any news regarding this man.
thank you.
[eja, dun worry ok. he survived during WTC, survive again he will be]
got imah online on msn. she's fine but afraid to go home. she's at school.
yu tekkeh dude.
tony blair said it was surely a terrorist attack. geleng kelape.
huh they did it again. first thing came across my mind: more and more discrimination towards muslim.
remembered how ina and husband being sergah by this group of british-tenaagers on the way to tesco and they yelled loudly : TERRORIST! TERRORIST!
Ya Allah, selamatkanlah kami disini. Jauhkan dari bencana. Amin.
Frens. I need more from your prayer. pray for our safety. Please.

they read: all london's transportation system being closed. dun go to town.
i read: omigod my paris trip nexwik! huwaaaaaa:(((((

ouh. pidah and owwe called. they were still in the eurostar, going back from paris tonite. huhuk wonder where they'll gonna stuck, no tubes, no buses, and owwe's house at edgware road:one of the attacked place summore. dewds, i pray for your safety home.

i cant stop worrying now. headspin. worried about our safety. not only worried of being in the place of bomb-incident, but also being the attack of the revenger.
mane tawu ade mane2 orang tak bertamadun yg pikir sebab yg bomb tuh org islam, so, seme org islam nih same nih kene bunoh diorg nih. bolehtak gwe berpikiran sebegini negatif? bolehkot. :-s

owh.. remember my entry adoring london's underground system and after that kutok about the discrimination? kene close the entry kot takot kene tuduh sbg teroris.

[org kusot2 kepale dia kusot2kan lagi kepale org]

mood of the moment:felt squeezed. utterly worried.
song of the moment:sela on seben-buatku tersenyum.
i wanna be:safe.tapi mcm susah aje nak klua masok london dah.

** a message **

My song is love
Love to the lovely song
And it goes on
You don't have to be alone
Your heavy heart
Is made of stone
And it's so hard to see you clearly
You don't have to be on your own
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
You're a target that I'm aiming at
Take my message home

My song is love
My song is love, unknown
But I'm on fire for you, clearly
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
Oh I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
You're a target that I'm aiming at
And I'm nothing on my own
Got to get that message home

And I'm not gonna stand and wait
Not gonna be there until it's much too late
On a platform I'm gonna stand and say
That I'm nothing on my own
And I love you, please come home

And my song is love, is love unknown
And I've got to get that message home

i mish yew wols

mood of the moment:percintaan
song of the moment:obviously obvious coldplay
i wanna be:angelina jolie 8-x